A Christmas Story

Since Thanksgiving, Kristie has only asked for one thing for Christmas - a Dremel tool. Steve, not surprisingly, was unsure about this gift. It is, after all, a tool and most members of Kristie's family have assured Steve that tools are a bad gift for her. On top of that, its a high speed, cordless tool with a wide range of bits and, one assumes, a number of options for mishaps¹.

Steve had settled on the universal defense, assuring Kristie that she could not have a Dremel because she would "Dremel her eye out²". Kristie was not amused and set about telling others of her Dremel dream. Sadly, her family is pretty much in complete agreement on the tool thing ans Steve had already gotten his family behind the "No Dremel" project.

So of course Christmas came and Kristie got her Dremel. She was remarkably patient and, when Steve returned from Winter Camp she hadn't Dremeled anything, not even her eye³.

With Steve's return⁴ she was eager to break out the Dremel but didn't have a target for her high-speed rotary tool. Unconcerned, she fitted it with a sanding disk and practiced. Later that night she got her big break. Steve's feet were in need of some TLC after Winter Camp⁵ and he agreed to let her put on some lotion and to soak his feet in her foot spa.

Well, it worked okay, but not much dead skin was removed. Kristie had an idea. Steve foolishly agreed and soon his feet were being Dremeled⁶. Steve's feet were slightly tender for a couple of days but are fine now.

1. Mishaps which Steve was sure would somehow injure someone or wreck something good. He's not always very trusting.
2. With apologies to the fine movie A Christmas Story.
3. It turned out she'd been doing laundry instead, the one attachment not yet available for the Dremel.
4. And thus a sure ride to the hospital.
5. Steve's feet are almost always in need of TLC.
6. Yeah it sounds bad, but remember Steve once had a thumbtack in his foot for three days without noticing it.

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Learned from Kristie | Learned from Steve

Making Driving Excitement

My brother Ron flies in on Christmas just about every year. His main goal is to attend Winter Camp and he often gets to spend a little time with the family too. This year we were home on Christmas so we volunteered to pick him up.

Of course, neither of our cars is really suitable for three grown adults¹, so we borrowed my mom's Taurus and headed for the airport. Kristie was at the wheel because we were running a little late². We made our way out to the airport and promptly got lost³.

We eventually found the right place and Kristie eased her way onto the ramp leading up into the parking structure. She began, as she often does, to accelerate rapidly. Suddenly, she slammed on the brakes. Steve was left a little confused, since there was no one else on the ramp. Bracing himself, he turned to Kristie and asked the dreaded question "What's wrong?⁴"

"Will we make it?" replied Kristie, pointing to a sign which stretched across the road ahead.

Steve looked up and read the sign: "Clearance 7 feet".

As he began laughing, Kristie realized that we probably would and began pulling forward again, albeit more slowly than before.

"Shut up!" she said, "it's not funny."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not!"

"We're driving a regular car, not some giant beast, of course we're going to make it if we didn't make it then no one would park here."

"It's not funny"

"We'll ask Ron."

A few minutes later Ron was picked up and the story told.

"Are you seven feet tall?" he asked Kristie. "Because you do know you're taller than the car, right?"

It was funny; that made it hilarious.

1. Especially if two of them are the size of Ron and Steve
2. Any time we're running late, Kristie drives - she has a knack for making up time.
3. Neither of us had been there since the built the new midfield terminal.
4. At this point suspicion centered on her having either just seen Ron, which was unlikely, or having realized we were still lost.

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Learned from Kristie | Learned from Steve