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Who said what and why it was so memorable.

I did *not* crash the car! In the absence of brakes, I curbed it. There's a difference!
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie was giggling her way through an explanation as to why her car would need to be serviced soon. Steve failed to see the humor in this situation. According to her, you had to be there.

That Irish ho is on our tv again.
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie texted me to let me know that Carly Smithson was back on American Idol singing a duet with Michael Johns. I didn't realize the significance until my brother Ron called to explain it was on our website.

You go and you cry yourself to sleep you Irish Crack ho!
Uttered by Kristie
On April 10, Michael Johns was voted off American Idol. Kristie was very disappointed particularly because he had sung Dream On as his pick for insipirational music. As he began to sing for the last time on the idol stage, they panned the contests and Carly Smithson was shown in tears. Kristie felt it was her turn to go home and offered the above advice to our televison.

You're at a Scout meeing in a church, that's like "Double Jeopardy"
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie was explaining that people should not swear at Scout meetings or in church and definitely not while attending one in the other. According to her, doing so is an invitiation for the Lord to strike you down.

I persevered.
Uttered by Kristie
We had pulled up to a store to see if hours were posted on the door, so we weren't exactly in the perfect parking position. I got out to see if they were open, then waved Kristie in since they were. She pullled forward, then neatly backed the truck into most of a parking space. The remained of the truck was parked on the sidewalk. When I asked her if she had felt it getting harder to back up, she replied "I had felt it getting harder, but in the end, I persevered." A few days later she was again at the wheel as she drove through a series of potholes. I pointed out that a lot of people seemed to be going around them. She again responded by saying "I persevered."

Syd doesn't seem like a very soccery kind of dog.
Uttered by Kristie
We were in Meijer and she spotted a soccer jersey for dogs. I'm not complaining since his lack of "socceriness" saved us about 10 bucks.

She's totally right!
Uttered by Dr. Baker
Kristie insisted that Steve consult Dr. Baker about a "minor" irritation. Steve wanted to ignore it, while Kristie said that it was serious and needed some sort of medical attention. The man with the medical degree agreed with Kristie!!!

Now you are!
Uttered by Kristie
We had gone to my parent's house for a birthday dinner for my mom. After dinner my dad and I were sitting in the living room talking and watching Jeopardy. As 8:00 rolled around, 1 vs. 100 came on. Kristie came into the living room and said "That's a good show!" My dad said "Well I ain't watchin' it!" Kristie reached down and scooped up the remote before telling him "Now you are!"

You look like a farm girl.
Uttered by Ranger Dave
Kristie was bummed that she was going to miss the chance to drive a camp truck because she didn't know how to drive a stick. He told Kristie that Steve could teach her and uttered the above quote as the reason. Said by anyone else, Kristie would most likely have been offended, but considered it a compliment from Ranger Dave.

Stop referring to my precision german-engineered game components as bingo chips.
Uttered by Steve
Kristie and Steve had been exchanging a volly of email one day during her spring break. She had actually been casually calling the "cars" of his new game Pitchcar, wooden bingo chips.

You can blame Dan Bollman for that.
Uttered by Steve
Kristie was trying to separate a static charged wad of towels after removing them from the dryer. She asked Steve if he ever bothered to use even a little fabric softener when he blamed poor Dan.

I don't think you realize how much that stung. It really hurt. I saw stars.
Uttered by Steve
Steve uttered these words the day after an unfortunate incident where Kristie used more force than necessary to get her own way.

If I die, no one will care that I'm late.
Uttered by Kristie
We left the house late and Kristie was behind the wheel. As we exited the Southfield, she made an aggressive move while tailgating another car. We wound up cutting off a number of other cars. Steve said "If we get in accident and die, we'll definitely be late" and this was Kristie's response.

He's one of *OUR* friends until it's time to pay for the gift, then he's one of your friends.
Uttered by Kristie
We were discussing purchasing a gift for one of my friends that I thought had become one of *our* friends until Kristie corrected me.

I don't mind when you break the laws it's when you try to break the laws of physics that it bothers me.
Uttered by Steve
For those of you familiar with the area, Kristie was on Southfield making the left at the Roosevelt light. The light turned green and Kristie gently stepped on the gas. The guy in front of her did not. Steve freaked a little bit. There was really no cause for concern as the guy in front caught on rather quickly. (I think that Steve needs new glasses.)

I can't talk to you when you're like this. It's like talking to me and I don't know how you do that sometimes.
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie was frustrated with Steve's somewhat erratic thought patterns. Of course, Steve was sick with bronchitis and had taken vicodin.

I don't know if I'd have said that.
Uttered by Steve
Kristie was complaining that her cheek still hurt from this morning's incident. Steve had accidentally dropped an alarm clock on her head. He asked her "wasn't it good the way you woke up right away and ready to go?" She replied, "Oh yes, that was really good. Maybe I should wake up like that every day."

I was close a freaking nuff
Uttered by Kristie
She told me she was in the prepatory position to smack me, then when I looked at her quizically she assured me it was a word. Then, she placed one hand on either side of my face and I knew what she meant. She meant "pre-clapatory" a phrase used by our friends Ample and Trite during their audience warm ups.

You know what's great about staying home today? More Tylenol 3s baby!
Uttered by Steve
When Kristie asked Steve about his work plans for the day he said he'd be working from home so he could make it to his wound check appointment. Sortly after making this accurate observaion another Tylenol was consumed. (To be fair, it was his first of the day.)

She's just hoping I'll trip and die so she can feed off my carcass.
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie was bringing some laundry up from the basement and Snuggles, as she often does, managed to be underfoot more than once. When Steve suggested it wasn't deliberate, Kristie set him straight.

I'm a talker! It's what I do.
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie felt that she was being mistreated and perhaps that someone (no, not me) was mad at her because they weren't talking a lot. When I suggested that maybe the other person didn't want to talk, she delivered these now immortal words.

Why do we even have gamers if they aren't going to take the trash out?!
Uttered by Kristie
She noticed that the gamers had left and the trash hadn't been taken out. She offered up some lame story about me using gamers taking trash out as one of the many benefits of having my friends come over on Monday. She then threatened to rebutt this story with some made up trash if I posted it on the web, so you know what's coming next... Nothing!

I plink you with my finger of middle
Uttered by Kristie
We had just watched The Gamers, a fantasy movie about gaming. Kristie decided to add this movie inspired threat to her arsenal as she poised to flick SYD with her middle finger.
A second later, SYD had been plinked. After hitting our poor cute little dog, Kristie said "Who knew it would actually work if you used the words?"
She then threatened him with her "finger of pinky" and her "finger of index". A real gamer would have known it should be "finger of pointing".

Does it work on existing snow?
Uttered by Kristie
Steve's parents had offered them their snowblower, which they never used and Kristie wondered if it might help with the currently snow-covered driveway.

Welcome to Cheekbone Wednesday on the WB!
Uttered by Kristie
We were watching a tape of Smallville and Angel, which normally air Wednesday on the WB when Kristie (clearly more excited than Steve and for an entirely different reason) let slip this Freudian comment on her attraction to the two shows.

No because you'll drill your eye out.
Uttered by Steve
Kristie was again hinting that she'd like a Dremel tool for Christmas. Steve said no, and Kristie asked why.

I'm going to get a tiny dog muzzle. No, he's not worthy. I'm going to rubber-band his yapper shut!
Uttered by Kristie
She was angered by Syd barking when she was trying to take a nap and called me to explain how she planned to resolve the problem.

I bought our books some nephews.
Uttered by Kristie
She had just come home from school where she'd done some Christmas shopping at the book fair.

Addicus
Uttered by Steve
Whenever Steve finds Kristie using the computer he yells "addicus" even if she's playing a game that he's just been playing for hours!

NO! Bad wife!!!
Uttered by (Bellowed by) Steve
Pretty much any time that Kristie is doing something that Steve doesn't deem appropriate.

You're a lunertic!
Uttered by Steve
Steve was taunting Snuggles when he came up with that beauty to describe her mental status. (One is left to wonder how long it would have been before he started waggling his thumb at her too!)

I'm going to lie down for a while.
Uttered by Kristie
While heading for bed late one night I bumped into a table at the end of the hall which then hit the wall with a loud thud. I froze in fear since I knew if Kristie caught me coming to bed as late as I was she'd be mad. She rolled over and asked me if I was okay. When I said yes, she said good and then told me she was going to lie down for a while.

Neener. Neener. Neener.
Uttered by Kristie
Her mom backed her up on some wierd hickbonic term for a toilet which they apparently call a stool. Both of them mocked me because I said stool was what went in it. I'm surprised they don't call the oven a loaf of bread.

If you guys want to eat now, you'd better grow thumbs.
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie wasn't quite ready to feed the dogs yet and opted to have some cereal herself first. The dogs whined and stared and she offered them some advice.

If God wanted you to have a Boston Creme donut he'd have made it into a dog food flavor.
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie made a stop at Tim Horton's and Syd was certain he should share in our good fortune.

And there were six dead people!
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie uses this when she doesn't believe me. It's because we were driving by a funeral home with a very full lot and she asked me what happened. I told her there were six dead people (I had no idea what happened) and ever since she's used this as an excuse to not believe me.

What do I know?...Nothin'!
Uttered by Steve
Downstairs, just a few moments ago, he said that this would be his answer to a student with a comic book (Spider Man) question. The guys are all downstairs too. They heard it!

Do you want a closed head injury?
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie was explaining the potential consequences if Steve were to contribute any money to www.savekaryn.com. Luckily, she's not the jealous type...

He's not gay, he's bi.
Uttered by Kristie
One of the laggies told Kristie "you're dog is a gay homsexual" after observing SYD engaging in a sexual act with another male dog. Kristie corrected the obviously incorrect laggie.

You unplugged the plugger thing
Uttered by Kristie
Steve was having some computer issues and, when it wouldn't reset, disconnected the cord from the top of the computer. Kristie was very upset because when she has similar problems, she always crawls under the desk to unplug it.

I'm not talking a little stupid, I'm talking Kurt Smith stupid.
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie was attempting to cut some of the matted hair away from SYD and was about half through. SYD decided to leave and Kristie was explaining that he had to stay to finish the haircut because he "looked stupid".

From now on when we're invited somewhere it's your job to ask if the meal will include, in whole or in part, foods which still have faces.
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie was rather surprised to find an entire roast pig at the luau rehearsal dinner for her cousin Matt's wedding. She didn't like it.

There was this time, at OA camp, when my hubby was "Nunguts".
Uttered by Kristie
Kristie was trying very hard to rememember the name "Nutiket", then gave up and settled on Nunguts. She later claimed we should be glad it wasn't anything worse.

You never drag anyone by their tendon! Didn't you learn anything?!
Uttered by Kristie
Steve was being forced to kiss Kristie's foot better and decided to drag it closer to his mouth rather than bend over.

I could've just put the eggs,cheese and sausage back in the fridge and you'd have been none the wiser.
Uttered by Kristie
She was explaining why I shouldn't be upset at having no eggs, cheese or sausage for breakfast because she'd left the eggs and sausage on the counter and the cheese in the utensil drawer.

It's True!
Uttered by Steve
The first time Steve said this was during his morphine induced paranoia while he was in the hospital for gall bladder surgery. At the time he had been trying to convince Kristie that anyone dressed like a nurse could come in off the street and administer any kind of drug to him.
Kristie is sure that it is now used whenever Steve is trying tell a fib and she's not convinced. (See: "Groo's Bath" and "6 Dead People").
This quote has a facial expression that must be used at the same time it is uttered. Eyebrows must be raised at the same time his jaw drops open in the disbelief that Kristie is having trouble believing the latest story. (Dimples are the giveaway that Steve is being less than honest.)

This had better not wind up, in whole or in part, on any web page you own.
Uttered by Kristie
I can't tell you any more than that, save that something pretty embarassing had just happened to her and I am barred from sharing the details.

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