Binary Cooking

After a great deal of research into the hows and whys of Kristie's tendency to burn food, I've reached several conclusions, one of which is the leading cause. There are, of course, other contributory causes.

One is her lack of Ford compacts¹. She'll sometimes put something on the stove then notice something more pressing² and be distracted. If and when she returns to the stove, the item will have that unique cajun charm.

Another is a general lack of interest. Kristie doesn't seem to enjoy cooing and I think she's figured out that I'm willing to cook if that's what it takes to be able to eat later.

The biggest though is binary cooking. Although this is commonplace among younger scouts, I think this may be the first case I've ever seen in an adult. Basically, Kristie believes that the stove, like the bits of her computer, is limited to on and off³. This can cause some difficulties in cooking. Throw in her tendency for distraction and we're talking blackened⁴ peas which go from the can, to intense heat to your plate in about 15 minutes.

We're currently working on Kristie's binary issues.

1. I'm not supposed to use the word "focus" anymore.
2. Like a two-week old newspaper.
3. Hard as it is to believe, this is one case where "fuzzy logic" is not applicable.
4. Not blackeyed.

Life Together | Pre-Nuptial Agreement | Quotes | Stories | FAQ
Learned from Kristie | Learned from Steve

A Christmas Story

Since Thanksgiving, Kristie has only asked for one thing for Christmas - a Dremel tool. Steve, not surprisingly, was unsure about this gift. It is, after all, a tool and most members of Kristie's family have assured Steve that tools are a bad gift for her. On top of that, its a high speed, cordless tool with a wide range of bits and, one assumes, a number of options for mishaps¹.

Steve had settled on the universal defense, assuring Kristie that she could not have a Dremel because she would "Dremel her eye out²". Kristie was not amused and set about telling others of her Dremel dream. Sadly, her family is pretty much in complete agreement on the tool thing ans Steve had already gotten his family behind the "No Dremel" project.

So of course Christmas came and Kristie got her Dremel. She was remarkably patient and, when Steve returned from Winter Camp she hadn't Dremeled anything, not even her eye³.

With Steve's return⁴ she was eager to break out the Dremel but didn't have a target for her high-speed rotary tool. Unconcerned, she fitted it with a sanding disk and practiced. Later that night she got her big break. Steve's feet were in need of some TLC after Winter Camp⁵ and he agreed to let her put on some lotion and to soak his feet in her foot spa.

Well, it worked okay, but not much dead skin was removed. Kristie had an idea. Steve foolishly agreed and soon his feet were being Dremeled⁶. Steve's feet were slightly tender for a couple of days but are fine now.

1. Mishaps which Steve was sure would somehow injure someone or wreck something good. He's not always very trusting.
2. With apologies to the fine movie A Christmas Story.
3. It turned out she'd been doing laundry instead, the one attachment not yet available for the Dremel.
4. And thus a sure ride to the hospital.
5. Steve's feet are almost always in need of TLC.
6. Yeah it sounds bad, but remember Steve once had a thumbtack in his foot for three days without noticing it.

Life Together | Pre-Nuptial Agreement | Quotes | Stories | FAQ
Learned from Kristie | Learned from Steve