Frequently Asked Questions

Why is Kristie barefoot kneeling down for the ceremony?

Kristie had decided that if she couldn't get married outside, then she'd definitely get married barefoot. Since it was 20 degrees out, we decided to move inside.

Why didn't I get invited? When should I expect my invite?

We said our wedding was small and we meant it. We've invited exactly eight people who aren't in one of our families - the minister and his wife, the photographer and his wife, the maid of honor and her fiancee, and the guy who introduced us and his guest. Please don't take it personally - there was no way to start inviting friends and keep it small without causing even more hurt feelings.

Are you pregnant?

Not yet, but you can bet that when we do have kids we'll teach them better manners than to ask rude questions like this one.

Why are you getting married so fast? (this one usually comes either right before or right after the one above)

Because the date we're considering, 3.24.01 is 01234.. the beginning of infinity which is how long we plan to be together.

Isn't one of you a lot older than the other?

Well, yes, Steve is about ten years older, but he's very immature for his age.

Is there room for Kristie in the basement?

We're planning to buy a place of our own between now and June.

Is Steve really just marrying Kristie so he can become a US citizen?

Actually, that was one of the reasons it took him so long to ask.

Where did you first meet?

That depends who you ask. Kristie says we met in the privies at the Renaissance Festival, Steve insists that doesn't count since he didn't know who she was. Kristie says that since Joe knew both of us it counts. Steve says it was March 11, 2000 when he drove to Marion.

How did you meet?

Mark--> Bollman, one of Kristie's college professors asked her and some classmates to sign the Guest Book at Winter Camp Universe. She didn't bother but she did prowl the site extensively and eventually became one of our frequent anonymous guests. After a year or so of that, she eventually confessed she was a girl.

Who the heck is Henry?

Henry is Prince Henry from Ever After, Kristie's favorite movie.

What's this Winter Camp I keep hearing about?

Winter Camp is an annual camping trip/reunion that Steve has been attending since 1977. It's a pretty big deal to most of those who attend.

Did Steve really give Kristie an Underdog engagment ring?

Yes. Told he was immature for his age. You can also see the story of the proposal on this site.

What's a pipe-cleaning?

That's what you do when your pipes are plugged up.

Why isn't there any glass on the beach at Belle Isle anumore?

When left in unattended mode, Kristie picks it up with her feet while wading barefoot in the Detroit River which, the Department of Environmental Quality assures us, is completely safe at that point.

How big is that ring?

It's a 6; originally, it was a 6 3/4, but that turned out to be too big.

No! I mean how big is the diamond?

Somewhat smaller than a baseball diamond and infinitessimal compared to the size of our love.

How big is that in carats?

I didn't know they measured love in carats. I guess the number starts out with 01234..

Will Steve still allow Kristie to drive down I69 with her shirt off after tubing all day in the sun?

Anyone who knows Steve knows that if he spent all day in the sun he'd be in no condition to tell anyone what to do. Anyone who knows Kristie knows that she rarely does anything she's told to do. All that aside, Steve says, as long as he's there to enjoy the view, shirts (among other things) are optional.

Steve tell us how many times you have to stop to help turtles cross the road. Is it true she makes you stop and help all of them?

Generally, we stop only once for each turtle. There was one that sort of disappeared on us and we backed up and looked again. Kristie doesn't make me stop, she makes me want to stop.

Got a burning question we should answer? Well, send it to us and we'll either answer it or ignore it!